Oy, this is a tricky one.

Holidays involve a whole lot of tradition, and whenever tradition is involved, emotion is everywhere. And lots of it.

But if you’re gluten free – or you are on any sort of special diet – sticking to your diet and protecting your health can be really difficult. Not only are there all sorts of delicious things you can’t eat right in your face, but social and cultural cues tell us that we’re different and are doing something wrong when we don’t join in.

How you handle your gluten free status at your social events will be very unique to your family makeup and traditions. People are very attached to traditions! It’s easy for feelings to get hurt when you don’t dig into the stuffing that was made from a recipe 6 generations old.

Assess Your Options

Here are a few options for handling holiday meals. Some won’t suit you at all, but some are totally doable. Pick whichever route works best for YOU. Not for Grandma, your third cousin, or an in-law you see once a year. This is about you and only you.

• Bring your own food to the meal if it’s hosted elsewhere. This is a bummer for you and may raise questions and emotions from others, but you will stay safe, and that’s most important. Try to bring food that makes YOU happy, and feels festive and indulgent to you. That way you are celebrating as well, in your own little way. 
• If you don’t want to make an entire Christmas Dinner for One, think about your most favorite dishes and make one or two of them gluten free. You can bring them as your contribution, and odds are no one will even know they are gluten free. And this way, you’ll be partaking at the buffet along with everyone else. 
• Host the meal at your place. If your home is not 100% gluten free, make your favorite dishes and assign out your less favorites to the guests. Put gluten-containing dishes in one area and the gluten free dishes in another (far, far away if possible!) and kindly advise guests to use the serving spoons provided and not mix them up. 
• If your home is 100% gluten free and you want to host, advise guests that you are happy for them to join you, and you will gladly provide all food. Let them know that given your 100% gluten free home, absolutely no gluten can come in and they should not attempt to bring anything. This tends to work the best with people who are supportive of your situation and understand that you mean what you say. If Aunt Patti doesn’t get it and you know she’s going to try to bring her favorite breaded dish, you may have an issue on your hands, so try to get ahead of that before she is on your doorstep!

Of the above options, I personally choose to host most holiday meals in my home. I do not have a dedicated gluten-free home, so I make the dishes most important to me, and let others bring the rest. All gluten-containing dishes go on one side of the kitchen, and the gluten-free dishes stay on the other side. I am very clear with everyone which dishes are gluten free and that bodily harm may ensue should the serving spoons be mixed up (kidding-not-kidding).

Here are another couple of tips if you go this route. First, if you want leftovers of the dishes you make, pack those up and put them away before anyone even comes over. That way, you are assured of the leftovers prior to any possible contamination. Second, always dish yourself up first. Is that rude, because you’re the host? Maybe, but as the host, and staying safe is always my number one priority!

Handling Challenging Situations 

Here are a few situations that may arise, and how you can consider handling them. You may run into these situations with anyone – family, friends, or coworkers. When responding to various scenarios, try to assume positive intent. Most people aren’t intentionally mean spirited; they are just uneducated. As hard as it is to be patient and have repeat conversations with people, don’t let it get to you! 

Potlucks 

Yes, you can still partake! Make a big batch of one of your favorite gluten free dishes. You don’t need to tell everyone it’s gluten free, but by bringing it, you have something you can fill your plate with. 

Your pals may insist you try their dishes. Simply thank them and say, “That looks delicious! I sure wish I could but gosh, I’d be sick for days. I’m having some of what I brought – it’s one of my favorites, have you tried it?” 

Your Family or Friend Cooks Gluten Free, Just for YOU! 

Sometimes, your well-meaning family and friends will insist that they made a gluten free dish just for you. Clearly, there’s no way you can ensure the food is safe, no matter how well meaning they are. Be as gracious as possible in these circumstances. 

Here’s a response you can try: “Wow, that is so kind of you! It looks delicious, and I really do appreciate you trying to cook for me! But I really have to be careful and look at the labels for each and every ingredient, make sure there’s no cross-contamination, and all that. It gets so complicated! I’m so sad I can’t eat it, but truly, I do appreciate your effort, you are so kind!” 

This may not go over well at all, despite a kind response from you. The person may get a bit huffy as we all tend to get when we experience rejection. However, you should not cave and eat it unless you are 100% confident they understand cross-contamination and what true gluten free cooking entails (for example, perhaps her child or sister has celiac disease as well). 

This is an opportunity for further (gentle) education around what you experience when you are cross-contaminated. Feel free to delve into the emotions around it too – glossing over the hardship will not make it clear to others why you cannot just cheat on your diet. 

“Oh come on, you can have one little bite!” 

Nope, nope you can’t. This is another opportunity for further education around what you experience when you are cross-contaminated. Feel free to delve into the emotions around it too – glossing over the hardship will not make it clear to others why you cannot just cheat on your diet. 

For some people, a more direct response is required. I am pretty blunt and just tell them “Actually, if I ate even a crumb of that bite, I’d have horrible body aches and a fever for about 4 days, and my belly would swell until I look about 8 months pregnant. I don’t really have time for that this week!” This normally gets a chuckle and then opens the conversation for true education. 

Do What Works for YOU

Look, I’m a people-pleaser. I always have been. But since having celiac disease, I’ve really learned to draw the line and stand up for myself. It’s not always easy, but it’s needed so that I can feel my best and stay healthy. Accommodating someone else’s ideal holiday and traditions is nice, but if it’s not in your best interest, then DO NOT feel obligated!

The key to surviving the holidays with a special diet is to do whatever works for you, and only you. Once you’re clear on how to make your favorite part of the holidays and tradition come alive for you, then stick to it and enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be overly difficult.

If you need some gluten free holiday recipes, check out my holiday board on Pinterest! I have a wide variety of boards and recipes, so follow me to pin my latest stuff!